I Have Not Been Held Back

I Have Not Been Held Back 

Copyright 2017 by Lori-Ann Willey

I just must say this. I have not once been held back from doing anything I wanted to do simply because I am a woman.

I have always had encouragement to do anything my dreams desired. Not once in my life have I been told, "That is impossible". I was raised with the mindset that anything is possible. The key to success is how badly I want it and how willing I am to work for it.

No, I did not go to college and I did not choose a career. Instead, I willingly married and raised a family. I willingly worked at any job I wanted, and I willingly volunteered my time throughout my adult life. Despite being a 24/7 wife & nurse to my husband, I still volunteer to help those in need or offer services. I was never prevented from going to college. I could have gone for free due to Paul being a Disabled Veteran. I chose not to.

I did, however, take a few computer classes and learned a couple programming languages just to keep my brain active. Then, the discovery of the Internet took me out of the local libraries. Now, I can research and learn anywhere at any time with a world of knowledge at my fingertips ...literally.

Unfortunately, I was declined the job position once, but it was not because I was a woman or unqualified. Nor, was I declined the job by a man. It was a job working on a military base in Hawaii.

Paul was an active duty soldier and I had worked at another military store, so I had knowledge of the job and should have been bumped to the top of the list due to my own job transfer.

Why wasn't I hired? It was because I was pregnant with my first-born child. Despite that, I still had several months that I could work without pregnancy interfering with the job. The woman who interviewed me was Korean. She point-blankly told me, "If I hired you, I'd have to let you go to have your baby". It did not matter my seniority. It did not matter my work ethics. Nothing mattered except for that woman's concern that she'd apparently have to deal with a pregnant woman needing time off to deliver a baby.

I was not happy and wanted to climb the ladder of complaint, but I didn't. I could have. I chose not to. I consider that "my choice".   My husband reminds me that no “whites” were hired by the woman manager at that time.   So, yes, that was discrimination, despite my abilities and job transfer.

That was back in the mid-80's. The world has changed A LOT since then. I am now 50 and getting closer to that 51 mark.  That was the ONLY time I was “discriminated" against. BUT, it was not because I am a woman. It was because of my "condition" …and apparently because I am white, too.

Though I have not experienced unfair treatment or less pay because I am a woman, does not mean that I do not understand the hardships that so many women before me had to fight for. At the same time, I personally have never known a woman that was held back by anyone except for themselves. I'm NOT saying there weren't injustices to others, but I also know a bit of history, too.

Who were hired in factories during times of war while the men were fighting in another land for our freedom? Fighting to give women the right to work alongside men?  Fighting for the freedom of all within our COUNTRY OF THE FREE? 

Our country survived because of those women workers of all ethnicity. To me, that is understanding the value of women and their abilities to take over jobs that men left behind .... for the sake of their country ...both sexes sacrificed, worked, endured, succeeded when and where they wanted to.

We've come a very long way, so I guess I don't understand why so many women feel they cannot accomplish anything they want to ...or moreover, feel they can't become anyone they want to become.

I don't see society stopping them, but I do see them stopping themselves. But, maybe I'm just blind and not "old enough" to understand what other women before me went through. BUT, isn't that just it? Their struggles THEN are not the same as the struggles of today.

What is expected of us? And why say "we as women"? 

WHY single ourselves out as separate when so many also scream equality at the same time?

I see so many women who put limits on THEMSELVES.

Who is holding who back? 

Just not getting the Woman’s March concept.

Sigh.